If one has a desire for success at all levels, including one’s mental health, one must first take 100% responsibility and accountability for everything that one experiences, to include the environment and one’s mental and physical well-being. Let there be no mistake, one’s life is under one’s control, even if it does not appear to seem so at times. Being down is never permanent unless you no longer exist. So, take action when you gain strength enough to do so.
This self-control includes the level of one’s achievements, the results one produces, the quality of one’s relationships, the state of one’s health and physical fitness, one’s income, one’s debts, one’s friends, and one’s feelings—I mean, absolutely everything! There are two facts you will face in your life. You have no control over your birth, and you have no control over when you leave this world unless you take your own life. Everything between life and death you must control. It’s your life to live, no one else’s.
Having control is not easy at the best of times, but it is possible regardless of how one may feel while in the clutches of the downs of mental illness. It is achievable, and it is something you can start to work on TODAY!
STOP all excuses, creating barriers to progress, stop choosing to indulge in self-loathing, stop seeking pity from others, and eliminate all negative words from your vocabulary, such as, but not limited to: I don’t …, It doesn’t …, It isn’t …, I wasn’t …, I / it can’t …, I / it won’t …, I / it shouldn’t …, I / it wouldn’t …, or I / it couldn’t …, etc., after all if one is to be honest, these are habitual phrase-beginnings that trap you to a false security, a familiar comfort zone of destruction.
Many of us have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our life we don’t like. This condition is called ‘global blaming’. We blame our parents or siblings, our spouse, church leaders or congregation members, our bosses or co-workers, our clients, our friends, the weather, the mail, negativity around the world, our lack of money, and even an illness we may carry. We never seem to focus inward to where positive change has the potential to sprout.
If one wants to create HOPE, happiness, and fulfilment in one’s life, then one will be required to take full and complete responsibility for one’s actions and the outcomes associated with those actions. This will mean that one will have to stop:
- using excuses to pacify, justify, or prepare one for a life lacking expected success,
- self-loathing or reciting victim stories over and over to crowd your loneliness with like-minded lonely people thinking that this is supportive,
One must change one’s habitual thinking toward a position that you have always had the power and control to do things differently, to get it right through willpower alone, to produce the desired result as you imagine it in your thoughts. For whatever reason—be it ignorance, lack of awareness, fear, needing always to be correct, having a need to always feel safe—you chose not to exercise the power within you.
From this point forward, make a choice, and stand by that choice. You must choose to act as if you are fully and completely responsible for everything that occurs or doesn’t occur to you, and around you. It’s that easy, and if something doesn’t turn out as you had planned, then your evaluation should be equally as easy. Ask yourself, “How did I create this outcome? What was I thinking and what process did I use? What were my expectations? What did I do or say or not do or say to create that outcome? How did I get the other person or thing to act or be that way? What do I need to do differently next time to get the outcome I had hoped for? Then try again. Just remember, strength comes from those that fall down six times and get up seven. Don’t allow mental health challenges be the barrier that stops you from achieving happiness and achievement.
Wearing a cloak of accountability ultimately results in habitual responsibility. We are all interconnected and all responsible for everything that occurs on this planet. What one does in London can affect another in Sydney, Vancouver, or Auckland New Zealand. If one fails, we all fail, we are all to share the blame. It takes a tribe to raise a child, and we are all children in this world. We can either be the destroyer of HOPE or an advocate for it.
You have so much to gain by exhibiting personal accountability. Some of these gains are listed below:
- You are trusted by default.
- You are respected as an authentic individual.
- You send a clear message to those around you that you are willing to do whatever is necessary for your own personal success and happiness, which also translates into being a reliable team-player who can be trusted by others.
- You are a “high performing” professional.
- Your job security is likely increased.
- You improve the likelihood of being promoted.
- You can be trusted to complete challenging and more meaningful job assignments.
Accountability Partner and your Community’s Role
An Accountability Partner is a reliable and trustworthy individual who can assist in meeting predetermined goals, by focusing one’s energy and helping accomplish more than one would if one were to go it alone. An accountability partner takes on the commitment as a trusted confident, a mentor whom one can trust and who can provide appropriate guidance and motivation so one can achieve incremental progress. However, keep in mind that the word partner defines a shared responsibility and should never be a one-sided affair. Each individual who takes part in such a commitment should share the responsibility in the risk and also in the reward.
Accountability requires one to accept complete responsibility for one’s actions and to stay true to all commitments agreed upon. Unaccountable individuals create excuses, put things off and rarely reach goals. They create a negative energy for the purpose of deflecting the root cause of the problem… which in most cases is themselves. To maintain commitment and responsibility for one’s actions and behaviours while attaining one’s goals, it is suggested that one seek an accountability partner whose true focus is to keep the predetermined path a priority, and while doing so provide consistent and relevant advice with unwavering determination.
Regular meetings with an accountability partner are critical, where the accountability partner will challenge, motivate, mentor, encourage and inspire maximum achievement toward the results previously agreed upon. Having the knowledge that an accountability partner will expect a progress report does place positive pressure to achieve commitments, a necessary step toward success.
Who you chose as an accountability partner is extremely critical and at a minimum should meet the criteria mentioned above. An accountability partner could be a family member, a friend, co-worker or personal coach. It’s important to find an individual who can resonate with you, whom you can trust, and who has a proven background of success/es. Be transparent about your goals and the results you are looking to achieve, and articulate your ideas clearly in your communication. Over and above the efforts or your accountability partner, also ask those around you to become cheerleaders along your journey and to hold you to your commitments when you waiver.
There are a number of benefits of working with an accountability partner, here are a few:
Accountability and Responsibility
Most goals are not achieved because of the lack of accountability. Procrastination, creating excuses and barriers to progress are your greatest enemies. An accountability partner can light a fire under you, motivate you toward your commitments, and monitor your progress.
Idea Sharing, Creativity and Brainstorming
Knowing how to gain information from another individual is one of the most powerful tools a person can possess. Having the ability to leverage that information once it has been gathered is a huge benefit. This is savings in time and cost effective not to mention the health factor of reduced stress. Be a sponge and learn from those that have mastered the knowledge, skills and resources you hope to acquire.
Your accountability partner will also come with different experiences, perspectives, and skill-set that should compliment you and assist you to overcome obstacles and challenges. Having an accountability partner allows the ability for brainstorming and invites creativity focused on finding solutions.You don’t have to be an expert in everything. Let your accountability partner contribute, open doors to previously unforeseen ideas.
Inspirational and Motivational Support
Staying positive, motivated, or inspired can become a challenge after the excitement of starting a project or a goal has worn off, especially if expectations are not being met. Goals do take time, and time is relative. The expectation of goals set to a period of time can be very frustrating when time goals are not achieved and may cause one to become unmotivated. This is where a good accountability partner can make a huge difference. His or her positive encouragement and keeping you grounded, no matter how you perform, accompanied by the active discussions you will both participate in, will usually inspire and stimulate progress forward.
An accountability partner should be someone who will challenge you, engage with you and evoke a sense of accomplishment in you. This person should be somebody you admire and who has accomplished similar goals that you aim to accomplish. Will it be someone you trust?
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